Woop-Dee-Doo...haha!!! VEGAS baby, Vegas!!! Welcome to "Sin City"! The first rule here is there are no rules. It's America's playground, and FUKiTT.com is here to play baby.
This adventure begins in Philadelphia international Airport. Keep in mind, a trip can only be called an adventure when something goes wrong, otherwise it would just be an ordinary trip... Right?! First Obstacle would be the snow, and driving through a slight blizzard to get to the airport. Wonderful, it's freaking snowing, and it's snowing hard. That shouldn't cause any delays! Sure...
Boom, we make it to the airport. Next stop, America West Airlines check in. Obstacle number two. "Sorry sir, your flight leaves tomorrow. Didn't you see that on your ticket?" Oh my god@! In all of our excitement to get to Vegas this fine Saturday night, we're told come back tomorrow or pay a $100 fee and fly out tonight. Ouch. Pay a hundred bucks huh??? Sounds like a pretty stiff post Sept. 11th fee to me. Give me a break. So we came on the wrong day! People uh...make mistakes. They should be begging us to get on the plane. Well, thinking it would be worth it, we said FUKiTT, and paid!
It's only 4pm, and we have till 9 pm to board. That leaves plenty of time to get all shitty and watch some playoff games at one of the airports fine bars. First bonus, watching the Philadelphia Eagles play, while in a Philly bar!!! Yes, that does call for celebration shots after a home team win!
9 pm boarding. Luckily I didn't have the "Philadelphia Chronicles" in my shoe because out of line gets pulled Mr. FUKiTT.com Vegas, A. J.! Shoes off please... that's all I remember. It was all-good. Too bad they didn't ask me to take off my socks! Anyway, we say FUCK BIN-LADEN, and get on the plane that was an almost completely empty plane. We basically had the whole plane to ourselves. Seriously, there was room for another 70 passengers on this flight. One more problem: It is still snowing in philly, and hard! The plane has to wait on line to get de-iced before take off! No prob, we're pretty banged up and we passed out anyway. 2:30 am!!! Looking out the window thinking we had landed, NO! No!!! The plane has not even taken off yet. Almost six hrs on this American West bullshit service plane and we still have not taken off. Not only that, but the stewards weren't even offering water... or food... or anything. That should be illegal. Well there goes Sat. night in Vegas! FUKiTT.com calls for a full on boycott of American Weak... I mean West Airlines!
We arrived in Vegas shortly after 4am. A few hours later, it's a Champagne breakfast buffet at the Caesars Palace Sports Book. Ahh... betting on sports can be so much fun! If the Stealers kicker didn't suck so badly, FUKiTT would have an extra $700 dollars to play with. All because of a shitty kick... ARRRRR!!! Then, for the night game. Rams and Packers at Mandalay bay! Go to Mandalay Bay!!! Go today or in the summer, it doesn't matter! The place rules the industry when it comes to the cocktail waitress. Mandalay Bay also is home to the Rum Jungle. This bar by day & nightclub after is good place to well... drink rum! Pint sized glasses of their jungle juice will kick your azzzzzz! Unfortunately, they wouldn't let us take pics inside! The music was rocking, and the ladies were rollin'... so the no pic thing must be a post Sept. 11th bullcrap rule or something. The House of Blues is also here which on some random night of the week goes off as well.
Our hotel was the Circus Circus! Very huge, and very affordable. Not the poshest hit spot to be, but a great meeting ground, and a place where well...the alcohol could flow all-night and uninterrupted. Oh, and it was free. It also has a very addictive poker game built into every seat at one of its bars. Any corner you turn in Vegas, there's a way to win or in our case, lose your money! One very hotspot open 24 hrs is the Peppermill. This place can be found across for the Stardust. It was a quaint afterhours bar, dark, with a flaming water pit surrounded by lush couches. No pictures could be taken here either. Too much love going on I think! FUKiTT recommends you bring a date here at any hour of the day!
You havn't been to Vegas until you hit Freemont Street. Remember this cowboy in like every Las Vegas movie?? Well, he still stands tall, and now protected by a movie screen roof! Yes, Freemont street is still stylin! Old Las Vegas is off the main strip and away from any reagal high-class jaunts! In old Las Vegas, you can loose your money slowly, with $0.50 cent minimum tables. That means you can gamble and drink and gamble and drink for hours, and only spend like 3 dollars! Infact, Freemont Street is one of the places where we ended up doing pretty descent at the tables...especially craps. Then, on every hour after dark, the Freemont street skylights up for a totally fear and loathing psychodelic Hendrix, and the Doors, rock experience. It was awesome.
Looking for a little bare booby action??? Look no further than Freemont Street. At the top of this street you will find a place that boasts of no cover! It's across from the Golden Nugget. This place was really weak last year, but this year it had totally gorgeous topless "exotic dancers" that can keep your eyes multi-tasking for hours. And they're really cool chicks too! They actually hang out with you and don't pester you for lap dances and money the whole time. Trust us, they were cool! That's all I can legally say here...
Need another place to hang after getting thrown out of everywhere else??? Check out Drais nightclub inside the Barbary Coast Casino! This place is a great after hours club! Guys must get there before one to one-thirtyish if you want to get in. Ladies, no prob. Sometime after one, they stop letting penises into the club. Well, great idea Drais! This place is hot-hot so give it a try.
From the sparkling lake fountains of the Bellagio to the golden "ass statue" and .25 cent horse races in the Riviera casino, you're going to see it all in Vegas baby. Vegas!!!
Super-Greetings
FUKiTT crew
